March 2022 Newsletter

Fetchit’s been staring at that headline for a long time.

“I don’t think that reads properly,” he says, “It sounds like we’re saying, ‘Do you want to have a lot of fun pouring a bottle of champagne over our heads?'”

Shreddit shudders. Although he prides himself on being a very clean pooch, the thought of anything resembling a bath makes him a bit queasy.

“You’re overthinking it!” sighs Indexit. “The whole point is that it’s our thirtieth birthday this year and we want to invite our readers to celebrate it with us!”

“And that’s another thing,” says Fetchit, “I can’t see how I’m thirty yet. Not unless someone put me in a time machine when I was sleeping and zoomed me forwards twenty (mumbles the next number) years.”

“I don’t mind if I’m thirty,” Shreddit muses, “Age is just a number so long as you do your stretches and use a good moisturiser.”

“DOXBOND IS THIRTY YEARS OLD THIS YEAR!” Indexit yaps exasperatedly, for what must be the thousandth time since he first announced it this morning, “In fact, thirty years ago this very month – on 25 March 1992 to be exact – the UK’s most reliable, secure, and friendly document storage and confidential waste disposal company was incorporated!”

“Party time!” whoops Shreddit, who finally gets it.

“Year-long party time!” Indexit whoops back, “Because in every newsletter between now and the end of 2022 we’re going to ask our friends to email us the answer to an easy question. (So read on…!)